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A POEM 



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A DIALOGUE 



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COLUMBUS, OHIO: 

WILLIAM G. HUHBAKl) A CO. 

1888. 






Etitered according to Act of Congress in the year 1888, 

By WILLIAM G. HUBBARD, 

In the Office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington, D. C 



(At the time of I he last Presidential election, this remark was made 
to the writer. " What's the use of wasting votes on the Prohibition busi- 
ness ? It's sure in any case to be the losing side.") 




HAT ! j^07i holding l/iat ticket, Major ? 
You're throwing your vote away ; 
There's not the faintest possible chance 

Of those people winning the day. 
To think of you leaving the party, 
The party that's old and tried ; 
It seems absurd for a man like j^ou 
To vote on the losing side." 



THE LOSING SIDE. 



" Great changes are best made slowly, 

A step at a time is the way ; 
Fanatics are always complaining, 

But Rome wasn't built in a day. 
You know it's not possible, Major, 

To stem the political tide, 
'Tis only helping our party foes 

Your vote on the losing side." 

*' Well Charley," the Major smiled gravely. 

And quietly stroked his beard, 
*' Tis true, that in yonder sentence 

You name a result to be feared. 
But calmly the matter think over 

Don't mind the political tide. 
For God and the centuries, Charley, 

Must settle the losing side." 



THE LOSING SIDE. 



" Christ stood there of old before Herod, 
And then in the dark after years 

The mighty of earth looked contemptuous 
On the martyrs' prayers and tears. 

But when comes the King in His glory, 
And Heaven's gates are wide, 

What think you — will kings or the martyrs 
tand then — on the losing side?" 

** 'T was a dreary, a terrible winter 

For Freedom — when patriots lay — 
Valley Forge — in their camp amid snowdrifts. 

And darkened seemed Liberty's ray. 
O loud laughed the foemen, exultant, 

''Behold ! VVehave conquered !" they cried. 
Stars and stripes, floating yonder, look, Charley 

Were they on the losing side?" 



THE LOSING SIDE. 



*'We know — you and I — my old comrade, 

Of many a friend in the past 
Whose Ufe showing bright for the future, 

Was wretched and ruined at last. 
How often above the downfallen, 

The sorrowful echo would say, 
* ' 'T was the curse of that terrible evil, 

What darkens our nation to-day." 

'' And the women ! God pity the women ! 

The mothers, the sisters, the wives — 
Who cover with pitiful loving 

The wrecks of these perishing lives ; 
But their agonized cry has no power, 

Their hands, weak and weary, are tied. 
They can pray — it is all — to the Master, 

And they pray — for the losing side." 



THE LOSING SIDE. 



**The work of the demon speeds onward, 

It waits not for party nor plan, 
While we quarrel o'er tariff and office. 

It murders each hour a man. 
O graves— that are filling with drunkards, 

O souls — going out into night ! 
O wail of the orphan and homeless ! 

Sent up to the Father of Light." 

'' He hears — he will answer. Friend Charley ; 

Till lately I felt just as you 
Are feeling. If men ivouldh^ drunkards. 

There was little the sober could do. 
But on my way homeward last evening, 

Down here on the street, I espied 
That which roused me at last and has given 

My vote to the losing side." 



8 THE LOSING SIDE. 



** You know the saloon on the corner, 

How brightly the great windows shine, 
Filled full of green leaves, purest lilies, 

And roses, and clustering vine. 
Sweet music rang out on the evening, 

While there on the pavement before. 
Your Harry — my Jack — both were standing 

Looking earnestly in at the door." 

"The owner came out and beheld them. 

And greeted them both with a smile. 
Bid them enter, and look at the flowers, 

And hark to the music awhile. 
Like a blow it came to me — the tempter 

Thus early his work had begun ; 
Let him once get a hold on the children. 

And half of his battle is won. " 



THE LOSING SIDE. 



*'So Charley" — ''Stop, Major — ;;y/ Harry ! 

You saw him invited within ? 
He is only a child — yet they coaxed him 

To enter that palace of sin. 
Why, down with such places forever ! 

My Harry — the boy is my pride, 
I know it would kill me if — Major, 

Count me on the losing side." 

"The tariff can wait — but our children, 

The evil waits not, it is plain. 
We may not succeed, but I tell you 

cannot rest idle again. 
Ah — now, I believe in the watchword — 

The whisper that's grown to a shout; 
There's only one way to kill evil, 



lO THE LOSING SIDE. 



I have wanted — I'll own to it frankly — 

The voting and this kept apart, 
I clung to my party, but, Harry ! 

Too close — it is striking my heart. 
Together we fought, my dear Major, 

Here, party and we must divide ; 
Together, till triumph shall crown us. 

We'll stand on the losing side." 

^' The time may be long, but 'tis coming 

For homes from this evil set free 
There's a sound of the nation uprising 

Like far away roar of the sea. 
Now forward — for Christ, home and country, 

Though failure at first may betide 
The vict'ry is final — is certain. 

With God on the losing side." 

Mrs. Frank Lee. 



[Scene. — Office of the Pro7npt Pay Life Insurance 
Company. Agent, seated at a table covered with books 
and Papers, ivriting. Enter Mr. Wilder?^ 

Mr. W. Good morning. 

Agent. Good morning, sir, good morning. [Offers 
a chair.] Take a seat, sir. Pleasant day. 

Mr. IV. So, so. You are the agent of the Prompt 
Pay Co., I beheve ? [Agent bows.] I came in to see 
about getting my life insured. 

Agent. Very wise errand, sir, very. A man can't 
do a more sensible thing — unselfish, affectionate, too. 
Shows he thinks of the welfare of those dear to him. 

Mr. W. Yes. Of course, the yearly premium is 
quite an item in the expense of a beginner in busi- 
ness, but the wife and bairnies must be looked after 
first. 



Agent. 



Right, sir, right. 



12 WHY HE DIDN T INSURE. 



Mr. JV., [warmly.] A fellow who can't deny 
himself in such a cause, ought never to have either. 

Agent. He ought not, indeed. 

Mr. W. I tell you the man who buries himself 
in money-getting or anything else and does not care 
most and first for the happiness of his family — I'd, 
well — I'd ship him to a desert island. 

Agent. You speak pretty strongly. 

Mr. W. Not more strongly than I feel. There's 
no use of going to extremes though, like my friend 
Griffith. He won't join our club or hardly take a 
day off for pleasure — says he must save for his 
family. 

Agent. I met them all in the mountains last 
summer. 

Mr. W. O, he'll spend ten times the club fees in 
one season taking the whole tribe to the mountains 
or sea-shore. Don't see how he manages to do it, 
/can't. Yet he never allows himself the comfort of 
a good cigar or a glass of wine. And I tell you he 
needs something of the sort. Look at him — thin as a 
rai . 

Agent. Why, he was insured in our company last 
week, and the doctor pronounced him a very satis- 
factory life. 



WHY HE didn't INSURE, 13 

Mr. W. O, he's well enough — yes, I knew he 
was insured. That was what set me thinking about 
it. I did'nt know a first-class company like the 
Prompt Pay, gave such low rates. 

Agent. I infer that you use tobacco? 

Mr. W. Of course. Catch me going without my 
after-dinner cigar. 

Agent. After breakfast and supper too, I suppose. 

Mr. W. Yes, and before bed-time and between 
meals. Tobacco's my best friend. 

Agent, [aside.] Pretty evident why his family 
never goes to the mountains or sea shore. [To Mr. 
W.] H'm ! Are you a drinking man ? 

Mr. W. I take a glass of wine now and then 
with a friend, and once in a while something stronger 
— but I don't make a beast of myself. It's no habit 
— I can go without when I like. I'm curious to 
know how you could give Griffith such favorable 
rates. 

Agent. He is young, in good physical condition, 
and above all, a total abstainer. The Prompt Pay 
makes a special point of that. We could not give 
you terms as favorable. 

Mr W. Can't, eh ? Total abstinence be hanged ! 
I'm as young and in as good physical condition as 



14 WHY HE didn't INSURE. 

that codfish. Do you mean to say you always make 
a difference on that account ? 

Agent The experience of the company proves 
that abstainers make the safest lives. We keep the 
records of such and of moderate drinkers in separate 
books, and during the period between 1866 and t88i 
thirty out of every hundred abstainers lived past the 
"line of expectation" — of the other class only one 
out of every one hundred. 

Mr. W., [looking astonished.] Whew! 

Agent. Let me read you a sentence from the 
report of Col. J. A. Greene, President of the 
Connecticut Mutual Life. [Reads from book.] 
"The degree to which many diseases attributed to 
malaria and overwork, is actually grounded on so- 
called moderate drinking, would be incredible to 
most people." And another author says — [takes up 
another book and reads] '' Moderate drinking, apart 
from the dangerous tendency to excess, injures health, 
shortens life, and transmits to children physical and 
moral degeneration." 

Mr. W. Rubbish ! I know dozens of old fellows 
who have always taken their daily glass without any 
of these consequences. 

Agent. Name a dozen or so. 



WHY HE didn't INSURE. 15 



Mr. W., [after a pause.] There's Grocer Grimshaw 
— eighty, or over — 

AgetiL Buried one son a drunkard — got another, 
a paralytic — and was sixty-three his last birtdhay. 

Mr. IV., [surprised.] Sure of that? [Another 
pause.] There's an uncle of mine — Dan. Ross — 
near seventy — 

Agent. Himself and family in excellent health ? 

Mr. W. , [reluctantly.] Well — has a touch of the 
gout — but that proves nothing - nothing. Might as 
well say Mother Gibson was all doubled up with the 
rheumatism, because she's been drinking " yarb tea" 
this seventy years. T'would have doubled me up to 
stay double in half that time. 

Agent. The testimony is'nt so general against 
"yarb tea." [Looks over some papers.] The first 
thing in order is your examination by the company's 
physician. His office is the third door to your left. 

Mr. ^., [rising.] All right. You see if he don't 
say I beat Griffith inside and out. [Exit.] 

Agent., [leaning back on his chair and soliloquiz- 
ing.] I believe in nine cases out of ten, a confirmed 
drunkard will listen to reason more readily than a 
moderate drinker. The one knows the danger from 



l6 WHY HE didn't INSURE. 

sad experience — the other won't beheve there is any. 
Turns to his papers and begins writing.] 

Enter Mr. W. angrily. That doctor of yours is a fool 
— a downright fool. He don't know beans. [Flings 
himself into a chair.] 

Ageftt. Dr. Jackson, sir, stands at the head of his 
profession. 

Mr. W. He may stand at the head, but I'll bet 
his brains are at the foot. Why, he told me — 7ne — 
that hav'n't had a sick day since I broke out with the 
measles, that my heart — I can't remember his dog- 
Latin -but he meant that it was out of fix and liable 
to break down at any moment. [Stares gloomily at 
the floor with his chin in his hands.] 

Agent. ■ Did he give you any advice ? 

Mr. IV., [without changing his position.] Advice I 
Bushels of it — good measure. Must avoid excite- 
ment, tobacco, stimulants, late hours. Could'nt rec- 
ommend me to the company at all, unless I signed 
the pledge and kept it. See him hanged first. 

Agent., [aside.] Just as I thought. The man's 
appearance and manner already show over-stimula- 
tion. 

M. IV., [muttering to himself.] Says Griffith's 



WHY KE DIDN T INSURE. IJ 

worth three of me for constitution. A lie. He is'nt. 
I could thrash him and the doctor both 

Agent. I think you said you were married, Mr. 
Wilder? 

Mr. W., [brightening and raising himself up.] 
Yes, sir; three years ago — to the best little woman 
that ever — 

Agent I suppose she enjoys her glass of wine, too. 

Mr. W., [loudly.] She! [Lowers his voice with 
a half-ashamed laugh.] Truth to tell, it's the only 
thing we quarrel over — that and the club. She don't 
like either of 'em. You see, I'm secretary and have 
to be present. 

Agent, [musingly.] But the wife and the bairnies 
should be looked after first. 

Mr. IV. What! [Stares at the agent and then 
turns away with a jerk.] O, hang it ! 

Agent. A fellow who can't deny himself in such a 
cause — 

Mr. W., [explosively.] Botheration ! 

Agent. A man who does'nt care most and first for 
the happiness of his family — 

Mr. IV., [facing round suddenly.] Look here — 
what'll you take to stop that? Well, I suppose there's 



1 8 WHY HE didn't INSURE. 

no use in my staying any longer. I can't enter into 
any arrangement with the company. 

Agent. I think you can if you'd follow your 
wife's wishes and the physician's advice. 

Mr. W. I'm willing to do anything reasonable, 
but this seems ridiculous. I don't believe the little 
liquor I drink ever hurt me or ever will. 

Agent. A fellow that can't deny himself — [Mr. 
W. makes a threatening motion towards him — ] when 
a skillful physician tells you there is danger and ab- 
solute need of refraining — 

Mr. W. He's an idiot ! 

Agent. And your wife begs you for her sake, to 
give up the indulgence — 

Mr. W. She's a darling. 

Agent. And the best insurance company in the 
state will not accept you, unless — 

Mr. U"., [rising and seizing his hat.] They can 
go to — Halifax. 

Agent, [detaining him.] Seriously, sir, instead of 
getting angry, would you not better calmly and 
quietly decide to follow the physician's advice? 

Mr. W. I'll think about it. [Exit.] 

Agent, [looking after him.] Think about it ! [Gath- 
ers up papers and exit] 



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